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Writer's pictureMorganne Biddle

My Screwtape Letter

My dearest Wormwood,


Our Patient is currently at a crossroads in her life, which is the perfect time to turn her path back towards Our Father Below. Last year, she was beginning to be won over by The Enemy due to your careless mistakes, which will not be soon forgotten. However, due to the uncertainty of the future she is currently facing, she has now fallen back into old habits, giving you the opportunity to rectify your mistake. I know you won’t disappoint me again, for you know the consequences.


The humans often characterize themselves in one of two different ways. Either they are a planner or they are spontaneous. A spontaneous person does not make plans and instead chooses to live in the moment. This can be dangerous for our cause because The Enemy wishes the humans to live either in Eternity or the Present. Additionally, we know that the disgusting phenomenon of joy often comes from simple, unplanned moments, seemingly without cause. Luckily, our Patient is not spontaneous; she is a planner. She foolishly believes that if she can plan every day to the minute, then she’ll leave no room for problems, no room for unhappiness, and no room for failure, for she has already anticipated each potential pitfall and prepared for the worst. Encourage this belief. If she should run into any problems in her day, whisper to her “If only you’d prepared for this…” This will shift her focus to the Past, towards things she can’t change or that are beyond the control of measly humans.


Find out which temptor is in charge of her cohabitant and see if you can’t use this to cause domestic strife. If she is a planner and he is spontaneous, then you two will be able to encourage tension between them. Because of her natural tendency towards planning, she will take on the responsibility of planning anything they do. Whisper to her: “Why do you always have to plan everything? Surely if he cared as much about you as you do him, he would be helping.” Plant these seeds of doubt and frustration, and soon she will believe that he’s lazy and doesn’t care about her as much as she does him. Ideally the man won’t notice her frustration and act charitably towards her. However if he does notice, you needn’t be distressed. We merely need to remind her that only she could possibly be competent enough to plan something as complex as date night, because like I already mentioned, she believes she can foresee every potential flaw in the night before it even occurs. Oh, how I enjoy when the anxious ones ruin their own fun by focusing on everything that could go wrong rather than everything that could go right. Even if none of the outlandish scenarios that she’s imagined actually come to pass, her thoughts of these potential problems will stalk her throughout the night and prevent her from experiencing that dangerous phenomenon of joy in its full capacity.


Listen to me when I say this: It is absolutely essential that the Patient does not realize that it is impossible for her to imagine and prepare for every possible reality she may face. I know this seems incredibly obvious and you may wonder how any of the foolish flesh puppets could possibly think that they could possess such power, but I can assure you that many of the humans truly are that arrogant. The best part is that our Patient doesn’t consider herself arrogant in the least. Quite the contrary, she considers herself to be quite humble. You must ensure that she does not become aware of this contradiction. Let our Patient continue to believe, despite reason, that she has the power to prepare for every possible future. Let her run forever towards a finish line she can never reach, and she will run straight to Our Father's home where she belongs.


Your affectionate Uncle,

Screwtape





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