I have two kinds of old friends. The first kind of old friend is the one that I can go months, or even years without seeing, but when I do finally see them again, it’s so easy to pick up where we left off. The other kind of old friend is the one that when I see them, I suddenly don’t know how to be around them. I get this feeling like I need to act like who I used to be in order for the friendship dynamic to work, but the problem is that I’ve grown so much that I don’t remember how to be that old version of myself, and I wouldn’t want to even if I could. And I hate it because it’s not that there was a falling out or anything, but it’s just that no matter how hard I try, the pieces just don’t fit anymore. Sometimes when you and your friends grow, you grow apart, and it’s nobody’s fault.
In Chlorine Sky, Mahogany Browne tells the story of a friendship falling apart. The main character, Sky, is used to living in the shadows of her outgoing best friend Lay Li. They start to drift apart when Lay Li puts her new boyfriend above her best friend by dismissing and laughing off the awful things he says about Sky. This is only the beginning though. Throughout the story Sky defines herself through other people who don’t treat her well, and she struggles to find her inherent worth in herself. Slowly, she learns to stand up for herself, to find value in herself, and to cut off toxic relationships when they are doing nothing for you but making you small.
One thing I loved about this book was that there were definitely aspects of Sky that I could really relate to, like making myself small for others and hiding in the shadows of friends with bigger personalities. However, her identity as a black girl makes her experience completely different from mine, as she had to deal with issues I haven’t and will never have to deal with, like racist comments and dealing with the angry black woman stereotype. I also love love love Browne’s writing style. Sky’s voice felt so true and so authentic and the basketball metaphors she uses are just so good.
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